If you would’ve told me seven years ago at the start of my career that I’d enjoy taking time off the internet, then I would have probably laughed at you. The thing is, and this is such a total cliché, age has a funny way of changing people. For nearly three weeks, between mid October to roughly 48 hours ago, my laptop stayed in the back of my closet. And as for my Note II, I reset the device, created a temporary new Google account, and only installed a handful of apps to make keeping in touch with my close circle of friends that much easier. Now that I’m back on the grid, I’d like to share some thoughts on all the new toys that were unveiled while I was gone.

Apple

Call me an elitist. Call me a fanboi. Call me whatever you want. But every three to five years, I go to Apple’s website, pick the most expensive laptop they sell, upgrade a few of the components, and then shed a tear as I click the checkout button because I’ve just spent over one month’s paycheck on a new computer.

My 17″ MacBook Pro turned three years old in July, and I was pretty sure that I was going to buy the 2013 15″ retina MacBook Pro as soon as it was announced, but I’ve changed my mind. After cracking open my laptop a few months ago and replacing the spinning hard drive with a Samsung SSD and doubling the RAM, I honestly feel like I can get another year or two out of this machine without a problem.

As for OS X 10.9 Mavericks, I’m what you call a “late adopter”. When I get my system working exactly like I want, the last thing I want to do is break it, which means upgrading to a new version of an operating system something I rarely do. I stayed on 10.6 Snow Leopard for the longest time, skipping 10.7 Lion completely, and chances are I’m not going to stay on 10.8 Mountain Lion for as long as I can. Sure, I’m not going to enjoy the battery life improvements, but let me repeat myself: I have a 17″ laptop. It almost never leaves my desk. The stamina of my battery is something I don’t really care about.

Moving on to the new iPads, a really funny thing happened. After stepping off the airplane in London last Friday and clearing the security check, all I wanted was a double espresso. Right next to the Starbucks in the airport was an electronics store that was packed to capacity. So I sat down, sipped on my delicious cup of heart attack juice after a painful transatlantic flight, and waited for the crowd to disperse.

Once they all left, I finally saw why the store was so full of activity.

The new iPad Air was on display.

It didn’t take more than 30 seconds of hands-on time for me to say to myself that I wanted one. I called the sales representative over, wallet in hand, and asked him if there were any iPad Air units in stock with cellular connectivity. He told me no, and that left me incredibly disappointed. You see, many of my friends have iPads. Even my girlfriend has an iPad mini. I know what they’re all about, and I use one several times a week, but I’ve never had my own.

The iPad Air just screams perfection. It’s fast, it’s light, the screen is gorgeous, and I really would like something I can take with me while traveling, either internationally or around town. The 17″ laptop never leaves my desk, and my Note II, while big, doesn’t give me that “immersive” reading experience that a truly large display can offer. That and I feel like 4:3 is the right aspect ratio for reading, which is why Android tablets have never appealed to me.

With regards to the iPad mini with retina display, I obviously have to play with one first before making any conclusions, but I’m pretty sure I’ll end up with the larger model. Now that I’ve actually had some time to think about it, I’ve decided to wait until the first half of 2014 to see if this 12″ to 13″ iPad Pro rumor is true. In case you can’t tell by now (17″ laptop, 5.5″ phone), I like my glass nice and big, so the thought of an even larger iPad has me incredibly intrigued.

Google

KitKat and the Nexus 5 are … underwhelming. You’d think that because I run an Android site, I’d have Android on my brain all the time, but the truth is I think I’ve had enough. During my holiday, I visited several large American cities, and my Note II gave me little to no confidence in the imaging department. People always give me crap for saying this, but I’ll say it again anyways: My iPhone 4, a device that’s over three years old now, gave me better photos than the Note II.

It doesn’t stop there, either, there’s also gaming. With a 30 minute commute between my AirBnB apartment in Brooklyn to lower Manhattan, between the 40 minute drive between my parents’ house and downtown Dallas, and during the 10 to 15 minute wait for the barista to give me my morning go-go-gadget drink, I watched my girlfriend play an incredibly diverse amount of games on her iPhone 5 and just became ridiculously jealous. That used to be me, back when I had an iPhone 4.

The second Apple comes out with a “big” iPhone, I think I’m done with Android.

But focusing on the news, KitKat looks to be the most polished version of Android to date. Great! But who is going to see KitKat? Almost no one. Galaxy owners see TouchWiz, HTC owners see Sense, and the list goes on. And let’s be serious, we’re almost in 2014, do you still care about being on the latest version of Google’s mobile operating system?

LG’s Nexus 5, while interesting from a pure cost perspective, is also uninspiring. Early reviews say the camera is a mixed bag and that battery life ranges from average to subpar. I’ve gotten so used to getting nearly two work days out of my Note II that I’m almost positive moving to a Nexus 5 would drive me up the wall. That and I like using the stylus in my Note II, as crazy as that sounds. When I combine SwiftKey Flow with an S-Pen, I can input text nearly as fast as I can with a proper keyboard.

Will I recommend this new Nexus to people? For sure. The value is incredible. Unbeatable. Monumental. But that’s really the only thing the phone has going for it. If it came in at the same price as a Galaxy S4 or iPhone 5s, it wouldn’t get all the attention it’s been getting. I can guarantee you that. Stock Android be damned.

Nokia

Windows Phone stinks. Period. Nokia makes some of the best phones in the world from a hardware perspective, but I couldn’t care less about Microsoft’s mobile operating system. Background multitasking is broken. Information density levels are appalling. Internet Explorer has rendering issues. And, most importantly, Google’s services don’t work well on the platform.

A couple of months ago, Nokia let me review the Lumia 925. From the second I took it out of the box, I immediately hated my Samsung Galaxy Note II. The Lumia reminded me that this once giant Finnish company knows what the hell they’re doing when it comes to design and manufacturing. But then I hit the power button, and the experience rapidly deteriorated.

There’s not much else to say, really. Nokia isn’t even going to exist in six months.

Other random thoughts

When I used to live in America, I was a T-Mobile customer. I put up with their slow speeds and anemic coverage because they had the cheapest plans. Today, their coverage is marginally better in the New York City, Boston, and DFW area, and it’s also certainly faster. But $88 (after taxes) for one month of unlimited calling, texting, and internet? What the hell is wrong with the United States? That same sort of plan costs me $25 in Finland.

Also, what’s up with the iPhone cases on the other side of the pond? People in Helsinki and London typically go either without a case or use an ultra-thin bumper. In America, there’s no shame in wrapping an iPhone in a disgusting green or pink piece of silicon that easily makes the phone two to three times thicker than normal. It really was a sight to behold.

Oh and I can’t say enough nice things about the Moto X. Silly Google isn’t selling that phone abroad, and the unlocked “Developer Edition” version was sold out while I was visiting. If it was on sale in Europe or Asia, I’d easily say it’s the best Android phone on the market right now. Better than even the Note 3, which I played with at an AT&T store, and just thought “meh”.

What’s next?

As far as I’m concerned, nothing interesting will happen until late February when Mobile World Congress kicks off. We’ll probably see a few phones at the Consumer Electronics Show in January, but I doubt they’ll be worth talking about for more than a day or two. We all know Samsung will host their own event to show off the Galaxy S5 in either March or April, HTC will hold a press conference between February and March, and as for Apple, they’re a wildcard. Either they hold a spring event or they don’t, hard to predict.