When You’re Walking on a Public Street

Or, you know, walking anywhere.

While Driving

If you can’t even walk in a straight line while texting, what makes you think you can operate large machinery?

At a Funeral

There’s no better way to remember the deceased than by taking a sexy photo of yourself. Then sharing it on Instagram, am I right? Er, yeah, that’s not right.

Unless you’re President Obama at Mandela’s memorial service, I guess. No, it’s still a bad idea.

While Riding Public Transportation

Nobody wants to hear your obnoxiously loud conversation. Especially not if they’re trapped in some sort of flying, speeding, or rail-traversing metal tube with you.

On a First Date or Well any Date

Surefire way to have a terrible date? Take your phone out and put it on the table during dinner.

When You’re Drunk

Drunk smartphoning only ever ends badly.

When You’re Having a Solo Conversation with Another Person

Oh, you’re checking your phone? That’s cool, I’ll just hang out, uh, this is not awkward at all, and what were you saying!

When You’re Checking Out

The checkout process would take 20 seconds instead of 20 minutes if you just put your phone down.

In a Meeting

Don’t pretend like you just got an important work email. You’re at work.

In the Bathroom

A 2011 study found that 1 in 6 phones is contaminated with fecal matter. So while it’s not necessarily rude to use your phone on the toilet, it is kind of gross.