Dan Lyons, better known as Fake Steve Jobs, recently sat down with someone at Qualcomm that wishes to remain anonymous. Said man (or woman) of mystery then proceeded to do nothing other than complain about Apple. Because Apple was the first company to launch a 64-bit smartphone, it left Qualcomm “slack-jawed, and stunned, and unprepared”. Because Qualcomm wasn’t the first to 64-bit, it “hit [them] in the gut”. And because the mobile industry as a whole didn’t prepare for 64-bit, the Apple A7 “kicked everybody in the balls”.

Now I like to think of myself a sane and rational person, but I also understand how the internet works and how one can easily take advantage of it. Saying something wild and crazy gets a lot of people to pay attention you, even if it’s just for a second. The piece Lyons wrote comes off as linkbait, and we’re all going to play the game and link to him and discuss whether or not 64-bit matters and what the chipset players plan on doing to address the A7, but let’s all take a step back.

Does your phone suck because it doesn’t have a 64-bit chip inside? Does knowing that someone out there is selling a phone with a 64-bit chip make your phone any worse? Does your favorite app or game even take advantage of the horsepower you already have in your pocket?

Let’s move on then, shall we?