Android cheerleaders can say numerous good things about Google’s mobile operating system. It’s powerful, it’s highly customizable, and it’s the best way to experience Google’s various online services, but security? Back in August, the United States government said that nearly 80% of Android devices out on the market were susceptible to malware, versus less than 1% of iOs devices. Despite this data, Google Executive Chairman Eric Schmidt, at the Gartner Symposium, proudly said that Android is more secure than iOS. According to ZD|Net, everyone in the audience laughed at him.

But Stefan, aren’t you an Android fan? You’re right, I am, but there’s a difference between liking something and telling yourselves lies to make it easier to sleep at night. I think Italian cars are gorgeous, but I know buying one means I’d have to take it in for repairs at least once a month. I think blueberry pie is God’s gift to mankind, but I know eating a lot of it will make me sick, and potentially even a diabetic. Android is wonderful, but secure? Hardly.

What can you do to protect yourself from malware?

If you’re on an iPhone, you don’t have to do anything, other than make sure you apply security updates promptly. If you’re on Android, same advice, though that’s obviously harder since the patches Google makes to their OS have to be implemented by device makers, who then have to get operator approval. The span of time between an Android patch and an OTA update for an AT&T Galaxy S4 or Verizon HTC One can literally be months.

But seriously, just don’t be stupid. Only install apps that you know are trustworthy. And if you pirate apps, well, then you deserve whatever your cheap ass has coming to you.